Feels like we are living in different Phases but somehow only Ryder got a haircut. Thankfully, all Phases have Pumpkin Bread! In the What Are You Kidding stories, “meat cleaver massage” is now a thing, a “Karen” freaks on a mom for letting her kid drive a riding toy without a driver’s license, the newly-refurbished Golden Gate Bridge makes a ghostly sound, and a bar uses bedsheet ghosts as social distancing. Sam Hunt’s “Hard to Forget” leads Fitz to hold a Yodel-Off between us all. In the Hourly Bulletin, Sunday protest turns violent against Seattle police, a man drives into a crowd of protesters and shoots someone on Capitol Hill, masks now required for employees in businesses across the state, local shopping malls are preparing to open. In the Fitz Files, Ryan Seacrest’s health scare may lead him to stop travelling even after quarantine, Lizzo plays flute for “Graduating 2020”, the real band behind “Tiger King” gets a record deal but it’s more “Tiger King”, ABC has “Bachelor Best Of”s starting tonight. In The Good Stuff, a police officer stopped during a protest to speak to a little girl who was afraid of him and let her know that he was there to protect her, and she is OK to protest. Elmer Fudd has lost his gun, as Warner Brothers removes it from new Bugs Bunny cartoons and replaces it with a scythe; we take your calls. Who In The Group Is Most Likely To…sacrifice everyone else in a Zombie Apocalypse or be the least affected by “Save The Dogs” Ads on TV? Today’s Troop Salute is Captain Arthur Jackson USMC. On Wheel of Wake Up we called a random coworker, Carlie in Promotions, at 4am just because. Ryder and Drew are trying to teach Shade how to use Tinder; Fitz and Claire make fun but, well, yeah, look over their shoulders. Monday Motivation has some uplifting quotes to get your day started right.