Fitz thinks summer is already gone so he’s rocking a wind breaker, but Claire thinks he’s just hopeful for Pumpkin Spice and Hallmark season! Ryder knocked out his own tooth after he threw his video game controller at the wall and it bounced back. In The What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man sneaks out of jail through the ceiling tiles but before he goes he leaves a message on a computer demanding justice, Florida Man is arrested for assaulting a 7-11 clerk over the Slurpee price, a gamer who lost a bet during a livestream lights his own crotch on fire, a man filmed scraping up social distancing stickers from a store floor gets security called via a “Code Karen”, and an Amazon driver drops a deuce in someone’s garden. Fitz drops a Dad Joke! In the Fitz Files, Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger have their baby, Mike Tyson’s Shark Week starts with him nervously puking, Fitz launches Bark Week, and Old Dominion re-does their first album with Matthew “Meowing” instead of singing. It’s Elvis Week, the anniversary of his death, and Fitz has some interesting details about The King’s life. Drew has made dozens of moving trips in the last couple of weeks and has discovered a Speed Trap on SR 522. COVID is too close for comfort for Fitz as Mama Fitz in Texas is being forced to go back to school to teach in person at 70 years old. Today’s Troop Salute is Philip Oligmueller of the Army National Guard. Our Wheel of Wakeup victim today is Patrick from Production. In The Good Stuff, a teen waiting for a heart transplant has been serenading the other patients with his ukulele and his cardiologist joins him for a duet. Gyms in Washington will start facing new strict regulations. Monday Motivation has some great quotes to get your week started right!