Drew is suffering the dangers of a too-hot breakfast sandwich, Claire wants to be Fitz’s Sue Bird, Ryder sleeps better after watching horror movies, and Fitz says the Governor is loosening some Covid restrictions on movie theatres and restaurants. Fitz has a beautiful tribute to Guitar Legend Eddie Van Halen. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a Texas girl holds two Guinness records for being tall, a study shows men with really deep voices are more likely to cheat, some prison guards are facing torture charges for blasting “Baby Shark” to inmates, Kraft has a promo suggesting people send their friends “Noods” like Mac n’ Cheese, an Austin Public Libraries worker stole over $1.3 million in printer toner to sell online, a man who escaped custody on his way to his arraignment is caught after posting about it on social media. Ryder’s Spooky Movie Marathon is on “Child’s Play” and “The Shining”. In the Fitz Files, Eddie Van Halen’s ex-wife Valerie Bertinelli was with him when he died alongside his current wife, Country Stars talk about Eddie, and “SNL” had to pay their audience as employees to comply with Covid laws and they were all first responders. All Jacked Up has Fitz loving the smell of his babies’ toots, Owen from Graham picking the ingrown hairs from his chest, and Haley in Yelm who once pooped in the dog park. Fitz wants you to fill in these blanks: “I’d Like to Thank _______ for Teaching my kid _____” when your kids learned something you didn’t want them to know, like Megan who thanks her sister for teaching her toddler to flush the toilet and now she won’t stop and Adriana from Auburn who thanks Ciara for teaching her daughter that counting includes the word “Drink”. Today’s Troop Salute is Lt. Col. Jesus Cosme of the US Air Force. Drew’s house in Monroe is killing birds that crash into his windows; Fitz says it’s a bad omen and the house is cursed. And we have an update on the baby Kangaroo that got loose in Monroe Thursday.