Drew is worried everyone he owes money to wants it all at once, Claire and Fitz discuss keeping their Mullets into 2021, and Ryder was kept up all night by his friends phone-calling him on Facebook Messenger which he didn’t even know you could do. Ryder says he will not get the Covid vaccine because he’s worried the government is going to chip and track him. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a teen in China wanted an iPhone so bad he sold a kidney for it, a British man is arrested for driving in circles yelling “Wakey Wakey!”, a University Zoom class is interrupted by the professor’s butt-sniffing cats, a UFO is spotted flying over the UAE, Jimmy Dean is offering glass sausage Christmas Ornaments, and two college kids are arrested for stealing the Exits signs from a bunch of dorms. In the Fitz Files, The Moderna Covid Vaccine was partially funded by Dolly Parton and Russell Wilson and Ciara now have their own signature fragrance. All Jacked Up includes Miranda from Redmond who eats food well past its expiration date as long as it doesn’t smell bad, and Kristin who says licking her kids’ plates clean after dinner is sometimes the best meal she gets all day. What Friends and Relatives Have You Unfriended Recently and Why? Dylan from Marysville had to unfriend his own Mom over politics, Christian in Snohomish unfriended his older brother because he had blackmail pictures of him as a kid wearing pantyhose, and Ashley from Seattle blocked her whole family for complaining about her bikini pics; Ryder hates “vague-bookers” and he will drop them, and Claire was tired of being in the middle of a couple’s ugly public divorce so she unfriended them both. Fitz licks Nurdles and Drew is appalled. Today’s Troop Salute is Clayton Mutzinger USMC. And we want to hear the Voice You Use to When You Talk To Your Pet!