Humpday finds Drew smelling a toothpaste smell coming from somewhere around here. We take the “First Call of the Day” from Navy Mom Ashley and her “littles”. “What Are You Kidding Me”: A guy can’t believe someone crossed a 5-lane highway on an electric scooter; a man goes nuts when Alexa won’t play his music for him, and a jerk calls 911 to complain about an Amber Alert in the middle of the night. Fitz reveals what divorce lawyers list as the “Craziest Reasons for People Splitting Up” like disputes about junk and what to name the cat. “The Fitz Files”: Tom Hanks’ “Mister Rogers” movie trailer is out, Crocodile Daughter Bindi Irwin is engaged to her “long time love” although she’s only 21 and he’s only 22, RHOBH Kyle Richards fired off 29 tweets after the show aired last night, and Thomas Rhett and his wife are having another baby and Fitz wants to know why Drew hates happy couples like Thomas and Fitz. “The Good Stuff”: a group of people lifts an overturned truck to save the driver. It’s another round of “All Jacked Up” – come on admit it, we all do weirdo stuff when no one is looking. Today’s Troop Salute is to Kurt Lynn Boorigie of the US Army. Fitz says 88% of Americans eat their meals while staring at a screen. Drew talks about the new dinner booth he built at home with no TV in sight. We debate whether staring at the phone is any different than staring at the TV. Happy Birthday Momma Fitz! Fitz calls Momma and makes her cry with a poem – which is actually lyrics to “Old Town Road”. That’s when Ryder the Youngin’ learns Momma Fitz will cry no matter what Fitz reads to her.