It’s National Pajamas Day, which we love, and National High Five Day which, umm, we are gonna go ahead and skip, thanks. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a guy busted for trying to gouge-sell TP and hand sanitizer donates it, a man is arrested for threatening to blow up Central Park’s Alice in Wonderland, and people are spending stimulus money installing stripper poles. Bethany’s Baby Blog Episode #7 covers boys and Slurpee cravings. In the Hourly Bulletin, the West Seattle Bridge won’t reopen until 2022 if at all, 5 million new jobless claims hits this week, the Plate Fund raised $6 million for Washington restaurant workers, Inslee says he doesn’t know yet if WA will allow summer events, and the Gates Foundation raised its contribution to COVID-19 response. In the Fitz Files, the All-In Challenge has celebrities offering once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to raise money for COVID relief, “Labor of Love” is “The Bachelor” for ladies just looking for baby-daddies, and Luke Combs has a sweet new song about longing for togetherness. In The Good Stuff, Toys-4-Tots joins with big companies to give 2,000,000 toys to underprivileged kids under quarantine, and some medical workers used a Zoom call to sing the Bruno Mars’ song “You Can Count on Me”! On Make Up or Break Up, Gianna from Mill Creek is worried that her boyfriend Daniel is going over the edge with sanitizing and may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. Ryder is taking on the Army Fit Challenge; is Fitz trying to enlist him? Fitz says people are still Tindering as much as before Coronavirus. Playlist Profiling is Courtney from Sumner! In another classic Throwin’ Shade, Shade goes off on our collective lack of available hair care.
Fitz has been awake for two days and wants to leave early today but Mean Old Mr. Drew says No, we have meetings and stuff. It’s National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day and we extol our favorites! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man fires a warning shot at a store clerk in a mask fight and then has a shoot-out with police, the pandemic may be the end of McDonald’s ball pits, a principal raps about Covid-19 at school to MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This”, a Karen and a Ken fist fight with two guys eating outside maskless.
Drew and Claire are in perpetual pain from moving all weekend but Fitz cheers us up with an unexpected Dad Joke about Christopher Columbus! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a wedding video goes viral when the Bride and the Groom’s Mom get into a shouting match, a man who lost his “unit”…