Ryder is rocking a sweet Hawaiian shirt and Fitz thinks it should be his “look” from now on, but with boots. Today is Moon Day – the 51st Anniversary of the first man setting foot on the Moon. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a woman in a Sprint store becomes irate when asked to wear a mask so she pees on the floor, a school board meeting to vote on masks in schools is postponed when too many parents show up without masks, police in Louisiana search for a woman who shot her boyfriend for refusing to fight, a woman and her daughter take their horses through a McDonalds drive-through, a drunk guy forgets where he parked his car and offers a reward to help him find it, and doctors say “mask-ne” zits are a real thing caused by heat and humidity trapped under our masks. In the Good Stuff, a woman who makes face masks with cartoon pictures of men’s genitals printed on them has raised $100K for charity. Look Out for a Dad Joke! In the Fitz Files, Justin Timberlake and his wife just had a secret baby, Howie Mandel has to post a video proving he has NOT been kidnapped because of TikTok conspiracy theories and Carole Baskin is raking it on Cameo at $200 per post. Fitz gives us an emotional update on his wife Bethany and the complications she endured after giving birth to their twins. Drew took a break from remodeling his Monroe home to actually read the Snohomish County Voter’s Pamphlet. Today’s Troop Salute is Edwin Mason of the US Navy. Fitz quizzes us on today’s celebrity birthdays by giving us clues to mystery people. Monday Motivation has some motivating quotes to get your week started off right.
Fitz has been awake for two days and wants to leave early today but Mean Old Mr. Drew says No, we have meetings and stuff. It’s National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day and we extol our favorites! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man fires a warning shot at a store clerk in a mask fight and then has a shoot-out with police, the pandemic may be the end of McDonald’s ball pits, a principal raps about Covid-19 at school to MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This”, a Karen and a Ken fist fight with two guys eating outside maskless.
Drew and Claire are in perpetual pain from moving all weekend but Fitz cheers us up with an unexpected Dad Joke about Christopher Columbus! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a wedding video goes viral when the Bride and the Groom’s Mom get into a shouting match, a man who lost his “unit”…