If it weren’t for window A/C units, we would have all melted into puddles last night. Fitz invented a game to keep his 8-and-7-year-old kids busy (and cool) called “Aqua Bounce!” which is basically him just hosing them down on their trampoline. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man is gored to death after interfering with a farmer wrangling escaped bulls, a bar gets around the requirement to sell food with liquor by offering $1 menu items like a few grapes or 9 fries, a man waterskies on 11-foot stilts, adult site WeVibe says 1 out of 7 men are turned on by Alexa, a cricket match is delayed after somebody spits on the ball, and crooks try to ship cocaine from Columbia to Italy by hollowing out 500 coffee beans and filling them with the coke. In the Good Stuff, Country Time Lemonade is offering the “Little-est Bailout” sending $100 to kids whose lemonade stands have been shut down due to the pandemic. In the Fitz Files, Amber Heard says Johnny Depp accused her of cheating with just about everyone she’s ever worked with, Dr. Anthony Fauci is throwing out the first pitch for this season’s MLB season, and new details on Carrie Underwood’s first ever Christmas album. On Make Up or Break Up, Eddie from Sumner is getting tired of his girlfriend Diane waking up in the middle of the night saying other guys’ names. Fitz has a list of the most popular original movies on Netflix, like “Murder Mystery” “6 Underground”, “Spencer Confidential”, “Bird Box” and “Extraction”. Playlist Profiling is James from Auburn. Fitz explains the opening of Sam Hunt’s “Hard to Forget” and it’s sampling of the Webb Pierce classic “There Stands the Glass.”
Fitz has been awake for two days and wants to leave early today but Mean Old Mr. Drew says No, we have meetings and stuff. It’s National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day and we extol our favorites! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man fires a warning shot at a store clerk in a mask fight and then has a shoot-out with police, the pandemic may be the end of McDonald’s ball pits, a principal raps about Covid-19 at school to MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This”, a Karen and a Ken fist fight with two guys eating outside maskless.
Drew and Claire are in perpetual pain from moving all weekend but Fitz cheers us up with an unexpected Dad Joke about Christopher Columbus! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a wedding video goes viral when the Bride and the Groom’s Mom get into a shouting match, a man who lost his “unit”…