If you can sleep in this heat without AC you are superhuman! Fitz says all the local news stations were showing women in thongs so we do a round of “Thong Reports Live From the Beach”. Ryder claims he was attacked by a Murder Hornet and has the toe evidence to prove it. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, teens destroy an arcade after a machine steals their money, cops in Miami set up “mask traps” to catch people not wearing them, a Florida woman is arrested for grabbing her dad’s “junk” after he wouldn’t share his weed, identical twins who do everything together are dating the same man and want to get pregnant by him, an Elvis impersonator breaks the world record for singing Elvis songs for 51 hours straight and an Amish guy is arrested for DUI in his horse buggy. In Good Stuff, Fitz is excited about a new 30,000- vaccine trial. Our Salute to Stanwood continues as we talk to Julia and Marybeth Sande from The Cookie Mill. In the Fitz Files, Ellen is under investigation by Warner Media for intimidating workplace practices, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have their baby, and Prince Harry had a fake Instagram account to meet Meghan. On Make Up or Break Up, Hannah from Tacoma says her boyfriend Robert has always mentioned a smell coming from her, but now she has found out that it was an intentional tactic to make her feel bad about herself which he learned from his dad. Claire may be related to Golden Girl Bea Arthur – her brother is looking into after finding out Bea’s real name is the same as Claire’s Mom’s. Playlist Profiling is Bobbie from Olympia. Fitz’s Social Media Catch Up covers his status as the Kraken Anthem Singer, Drew’s favorite barista miss him already, and someone loves Aunt Claire and the Weekend Party Preview.
Fitz has been awake for two days and wants to leave early today but Mean Old Mr. Drew says No, we have meetings and stuff. It’s National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day and we extol our favorites! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man fires a warning shot at a store clerk in a mask fight and then has a shoot-out with police, the pandemic may be the end of McDonald’s ball pits, a principal raps about Covid-19 at school to MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This”, a Karen and a Ken fist fight with two guys eating outside maskless.
Drew and Claire are in perpetual pain from moving all weekend but Fitz cheers us up with an unexpected Dad Joke about Christopher Columbus! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a wedding video goes viral when the Bride and the Groom’s Mom get into a shouting match, a man who lost his “unit”…