(NEW YORK) — Sure, we all know the rules about washing your hands and keeping social distances around strangers, but if you find yourself stuck in your apartment with your significant other during the COVID-19 pandemic, binging Tiger King can only get you so far.
Since we can all use a laugh, ABC Audio reached out to comedy podcast company owner and The SDR Show host Ralph Sutton, who gave us three easy tips on how to come out of quarantine, without also making yourself single.
“Watch one hour of news a day,” he advises, noting the 24/7 news cycle of body counts and viral curves is “only going to make you miserable.”
On a lighter front, Ralph’s second piece of advice? Try to maintain even more than the recommended social distance when it comes to passing gas. “Separate rooms,” he recommends. “That way you don’t have any offensive odors that will only make each other angry.”
Sutton’s third tip, equally tongue in cheek: If anyone sneezes in the house, resist the urge to kill them, and your coronavirus crisis will be over before you know it.”
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