Coronavirus

Online tool helps toilet paper hoarders calculate how much they need to poop before they use up their supply

Online tool helps toilet paper hoarders calculate how much they need to poop before they use up their supply

NoDerog/iStock(NEW YORK) — Were you among the swarm of people who snatched up as many rolls of toilet paper you could get your grubby little hands on?  Good news: there’s a sweet new online tool that tells you how many trips to the bathroom you need to take in order to completely use up your extensive supply of 2-ply.  

Simply called “The Poop Tool” or, more delicately, the “Coronavirus Poop Calculator,” this nifty tool will help even the most nervous TP hoarders take stock of their mountains of Charmin and Quilted Northern.

All you need do is enter how many rolls of TP you have and, from there, the little gadget estimates how much number two  you’ll need to produce to completely wipe out your collection.

The tool will also estimate how many days your current stock will last before you’ll need to brave the toilet paper aisle again.  It even adjusts its calculations for family size, too, and gives you a cute nickname based on how many rolls you willingly admit you’ve got stockpiled in your pantry.

If that’s not all, you should know this is a fancy tool — complete with real-time results and visual aids — for those who need to comprehend that roughly 20 rolls of toilet paper will last one person until November 20, a family of two to July 23, and a family of four to May 24.

Yes, we calculated that for you using the aforementioned poop tool.  You’re welcome.

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