Tanner shared that she felt there was such a big stigma around being single, so she wanted to help break that stigma and bring self-love to the forefront of conversations. The idea came after she had been met with a lot of unwanted sympathy in her life whenever she was single. She was tired of people making her feel ashamed for being single and telling her that she would “meet the love of her life soon enough.” She took all of those interactions and found a way to express that she was “happily ever after right now” all by herself. So she married herself in 2015 to show off her self-love and self-acceptance.
She did have a self-wedding with just herself. She invited all of her friends and family via a social media invite and Tanner was thrilled when everyone showed up for her. Her Dad was a huge supporter of her and even walked her down the aisle to give her away to herself. Her mother was a little puzzled, because Tanner added that her mom had been through three divorces. She did vows, just the traditional ones by swapping out the plural things to singular. She didn’t ask anyone to bring gifts, though confessed she instantly regretted that. And for her first dance she had everyone join her on the dance floor where they danced to Trini López “If You Wanna Be Happy.”
The wedding didn’t legally do much for her. Because Tanner shared that when people legalize a marriage, it’s all about protecting your own assets, so when you’re doing it alone you don’t need to do that. And as for divorcing herself goes, Tanner wouldn’t do that either. She said that her divorcing herself is saying that she can no longer live with herself. The whole point of the self-marriage is about self-love, while romantic marriage is about romantic love. Tanner added that just because she married to herself, it doesn’t mean she won’t find herself in a romantic love. She is still dating and open to getting married to someone else, and confessed that most guys she has dated since her marriage are on board with what she did.
Ultimately the goal was to bring attention to the idea of self-love, self- acceptance and being responsible for your own happiness. Tanner added that there aren’t a lot of rituals in our culture that celebrate single happiness so she wanted to create one. She believes that you should truly be able to fill your own cup with your own self rather than having someone fill it up for you, which is important for self-marriage and romantic-marriage. Tanner marrying herself has inspired others across the globe to also marry themselves, majority of them have been women.